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Review of conclusion text

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opensym2017/content/12-conclusion.tex
... ... @@ -5,34 +5,32 @@ In this paper we present and discuss issues experienced during a government-
5 5 funded project, in partnership with University of Brasilia and University of
6 6 São Paulo, to evolve the Brazilian Public Software portal.
7 7  
8   -The contributions of this paper are twofold. First, we present how was
9   -developed an unprecedent platform, delivered to Brazilian government. This
10   -platform - developed by an heterogenous team of professors, master and
  8 +The contributions of this paper are twofold. First, we present how an unprecedent
  9 +platform was developed and delivered to Brazilian government. This
  10 +platform - developed by an heterogenous team of professors, masters and
11 11 undergraduate students, IT professionals and governmental managers - provides
12 12 several modern features from the integration of more than 10 FLOSS systems.
13 13  
14   -Second, the 30 months project which developed this platform results in an
15   -important case that it is possible to mitigate issues seen as conflicting to IT
16   -development environment and between industry and academy. We shown that, as
17   -long as the institution can provide a healthy and challenging environment to
18   -its students, its is possible to conciliate studies and professional training
  14 +Second, the thirty-month long project in which the SPB platform was developed points
  15 +out that it is possible to mitigate issues seen as conflicting to the IT
  16 +development environment and between industry and academy. The team was engaged in
  17 +providing a friendly working environment as well as in showing to governmental agents
  18 +another way to interact with the FLOSS community and the university. In the paper,
  19 +we try to show that, as long as the institution can provide a healthy and challenging
  20 +environment to its students, one may conciliate studies and professional training
19 21 in universities. After the end of the project, some students successfully
20 22 embraced opportunities in public and private sectos, within national borders
21 23 and abroad. Some others went further and started their own companies.
22   -We also shown that, with some adaptations/"translation processes", was possible
23   -to conciliate agile methodologies and FOSS practices to develop software to
  24 +We also demonstrate that, with some adaptations/"translation processes", it is feasible
  25 +to conciliate agile methodologies and FOSS practices in order to develop software to
24 26 governmental organizations with functional hierarchical structures that use
25 27 traditional development paradigm.
26 28  
27   -In the SPB project it was employed many of our beliefs about FLOSS and Agile
28   -practices. The team was engaged in creating a friendly environment for everyone
29   -involved in the project and in showing to government agents another way to
30   -interact with the FLOSS community and the university. With an open work style,
31   -the project has seeked to be transparent for the whole society. We belive it is
32   -still needed to analyze every data produced by the project and its impact on the
33   -students. For future work, we would conduce a \textit{post-mortem} analyse in the
34   -project, seeing that we have many open data to be explored and it was applied
35   -approachs which still need extra validation.
  29 +Future work should use the many data produced by the project to validate and evaluate
  30 +how the used FLOSS and Agile practices have impacted the students and also the
  31 +governmental development process. For this, we would conduce a \textit{post-mortem}
  32 +analyse using the project open data and a survey targeted the involved actors.
  33 +
36 34  
37 35 The portal is available at \url{softwarepublico.gov.br}. All
38 36 documentation, including detailed architecture and operation manuals are
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